second lady Usha VanceThe announcement of the birth of baby number four is joyful and refreshing news. Raising four children in the United States is no longer the norm these days. Across the United States, women are having fewer children, or no children at all. As a parent, I hope Vance’s message encourages more women to do the same.

A woman’s decision to have a baby is often viewed as a personal lifestyle choice. However, this decision also affects the country as a whole: without a sufficient birth rate to sustain its population, a country has difficulty sustaining its economy, communities, and culture.

We don’t have to look too far to see where this will lead. The Free Press recently reported that Britain is facing a full-blown demographic crisis. Deaths will now exceed births. Many educated, affluent and financially stable women say their decision not to have children was a calculated one. One woman in the Free Press report noted, “It’s not that I don’t have a reason, it’s that I have a lot of reasons. If you knock one down, I’ll give you 10 more.”

The United States is experiencing ongoing Decline in birth ratethis situation has persisted for more than a decade and now puts the ratio well below replacement levels. The trend mirrors challenges faced elsewhere.

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Usha Vance is pregnant with her fourth child, but many American women won’t learn from her example. (Getty Images)

Reasons given by women escaping motherhood It’s true: Children and childcare are expensive; many careers require women to be fully available during their prime reproductive years. Often, culture views motherhood as a professional responsibility rather than a benefit to society.

But there’s another factor that few are willing to say out loud – one that affects women long before they even think about having children. Increasingly, women are no longer putting off having children because they don’t want a family: They have trouble finding men who are willing to start a family.

modern dating Bad, porn plays a devastating role. Millions of men now habitually consume pornography. Barna Group data from 2024 found that 78% of U.S. men (ages 13-65) consume porn “to some extent.” But this is no harmless entertainment. Numerous studies show that heavy viewing of pornography can distort expectations, harm emotional intimacy, reduce motivation, and damage real-world relationships.

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Pornography can lead to distorted views of sex and women in men. A culture that normalizes constant consumption trains men to expect satisfaction without sacrifice. Pornography promises connection, but instead brings isolation.

An isolated society, cut off from marriage, family and true intimacy, cannot reproduce itself. In a culture saturated with pornography, we shouldn’t be surprised when fewer men come forward to do porn. husband and father. When men are trained to consume rather than commit, women ultimately pay the price, and so does society as a whole.

Marriages do not collapse because a woman suddenly loses interest in her family. When men stop pursuing commitment, it breaks down. More and more men are living in isolation, often alone and often online. In fact, men are tricked into having to save a large amount of money before they can get married and have children.

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Women don’t often reject motherhood because of selfishness or ambition. They’re rationalizing a dating culture in which emotional maturity, loyalty and long-term responsibility are increasingly valued less and less.

America needs strong men who are willing to reject porn and commit to leaving a legacy by building families. At the same time, women should resist the message that motherhood must be postponed until everything is “perfect.” That day will never come. The fact is Don’t wait for childbirth.

Often, culture views motherhood as a professional responsibility rather than a benefit to society.

Yes, economics is important. But economics alone cannot explain what is happening. Even countries with generous family benefits, paid leave and childcare subsidies still have fertility rates well below replacement rates. When marriage is weakened and its meaning eroded, no amount of government spending will convince people to start families.

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Career success is important—and so is education. But neither is intended to replace family, meaning, or legacy. A culture that treats children as dispensable accessories will eventually run out of people. This decline is reflected in labor shortages, strained entitlement systems, and reduced numbers of future caregivers, workers, and citizens.

What is missing is a shared belief that marriage, motherhood, and fatherhood are still beautiful and worth protecting.

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On April 18, 2025, Second Lady Usha Vance took her daughter Mirabel to look back at US Vice President JD Vance. (Kenny Holston/POOL/AFP via Getty Images)

Every generation before ours has faced uncertainty, whether it was war, depression, or unrest, but still chosen to start a family. They believe the future is worth investing in. A society that no longer believes will no longer have children.

America is now at a crossroads: We can rebuild a culture that respects marriage, supports motherhood, and Calling on men to take responsibilityor we can manage decline and pretend it’s progress. The kids are not the problem: they are the point. Second Lady Vance portrays this very well.