There is no one size fits all when it comes to toys aimed at providing accessibility or inclusion, just as there is no one type of disability. Very few toys or brands are actually made with a disability up front, besides Cute Little Fuckersa queer, trans-, and disabled-owned sex toy brand. (I tested three of the brand’s toys, above.)

So instead, I think about my own needs as a person with upper body disabilities, and I talk to other disabled people, including those who use wheelchairs or have lower body disabilities, to find out what they are looking for in their sex toys. These include devices such as slings, pillows, and chairs that help position during sex (or solo play). (More on that below.)

Since I have disabilities in the vagina and upper body, many of the toys I tried were aimed at people like me, but many, such as the app-connected G-spot and clitoral toys, have similar versions with the same in-app features, except for people with penises or those who want anal play.

I take many factors into consideration, including weight, height, girth; if the toy is easy to hold or can break; if you just lie on it or use it in many positions; and whether it can be controlled by buttons (and how hard to press), in-app, or with a remote control. Once the individual realizes what they need from a toy to make it work for their body and abilities, it is easier to find the toy that works best.

I’ve tried several sex toy holders, including ones that hit a pillow for laying or lying on, and a sex toy holder that absorbs the tops or straps in place. I also tried a number of toys that could only be rolled by a person, laid on, or sat on.

I couldn’t test a hand harness to put the toy in your hand, because it doesn’t fit my small hand, but it can be a more controlled way to hold a sex toy than inserting pillows, grinding, or using a top mount.

the Liberator Wedge also came highly recommended to me, but I couldn’t try it either. This angled pillow makes intercourse easier for those in abnormal bodies or for those suffering from pain, because they can reach the angles and positions needed to relieve pressure. As I mentioned above, a pillow also helps to achieve deeper penetration for partners with small penises or larger bodies, where the genitals can be more tricky to reach without additional help.

Brands like IntimateRider create chairs and sex accessories for wheelchair users, paraplegics, and others with spinal cord injuries and similar disabilities where traditional sex may not be an option without these valuable tools.