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Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane may no longer be together romantically, but the former couple Confronting his ALS diagnosis Together.
As Dane’s illness progressed, Gayheart found himself with responsibilities that went beyond emotional support.
She became a devoted caregiver, coordinating care and helping to ensure around-the-clock nursing support while maintaining a separate home and keeping her daughters’ lives as normal as possible.
That commitment, she says, is rooted in a connection that no longer seems romantic but remains deeply personal.
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Gerhart said she and Dane had a “family connection.” The former couple have separated but remain married. (Lester Cohen/Getty Images for GLAAD)
“Our love may not be romantic, but it’s a familial one,” she told Clip. “Anything I can do or how to make this journey better or easier for him, I want to do it.”
Dane now requires round-the-clock care, which Gayhart said was achieved after an ongoing battle with the insurance company.
“Eric now has a nurse on staff 24/7,” she said. “Just figure it out health care The system is its own thing – the health insurance company will deny your claim… you have to appeal, and then you have to apply again. “
She recalls a blunt exchange with an insurance representative that sparked her determination.
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Gerhart said she had to fight to get the care Dane needed. (Jason Lavelis/FilmMagic)
“With the help of the nurse, the lady from his insurance company said to me, ‘You can keep applying and I’m going to keep denying it,'” Gayhart said. “I was like, Oh? F that. I made it my mission. I was ‘locked in,’ as the kids say. I fell out, and then I locked it in.”
After two appeals, care was approved, but gaps in coverage remained, leaving Gerhardt to step in on his own if needed.
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Gerhart said she has learned to ask for help when caregiving needs overlap with parenting responsibilities — even when it feels uncomfortable.
“I had a 12-hour shift recently that I couldn’t handle. Because of all the stuff the kids had to do, I could only do four hours,” she said. “So I had to visit two of Eric’s friends, one of whom had never really cared for him in that way.”
Her hesitation was quickly supported.
“I thought, I can’t believe I have to ask someone else to do this,” she said. “Of course, when I asked for help, they said, ‘Yeah, anything, what do you need? What’s going on?’ They all showed up and did an amazing job.”
The 54-year-old actress recalls the moment she found out about him Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis diagnosis. “I heard these three letters in my closet that day: ALS,” Gayhart said.
“Eric called me at the doctor’s office san francisco;He flew down to see a neurologist. “
Gerhart said Dane had been experiencing symptoms for several months before receiving his diagnosis. (Rebecca Gayheart/Instagram)
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She said the warning signs had been present for nearly a year and occurred every day she was with her children.
“When we would eat with the kids, he would say, ‘There’s something wrong with my hands,'” Gerhardt said, explaining that he had trouble using utensils. “That’s when he started seeing doctors.”
She added, “When he told me that day, he started crying and so did I. It didn’t feel real because he was okay.”
Gerhart was at home with their youngest daughter, trying to answer the call privately.
“I’m at home with my youngest daughter – my home, I only live with the girls because Eric and I broke up In September 2017, I went into my closet to answer the phone, trying to be private,” she said.
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Dane and Gayheart have daughters Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14. (Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)
My daughter immediately noticed something was wrong.
“I tried to tell her, ‘Honey, it’s okay. Everything is fine,’ because I just couldn’t take it,” Gerhart said.
This former couple, share daughter Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14, later told their children the news under the guidance of a therapist.
“We want to be completely transparent and honest with them,” Gayhart said. “I’m a terrible liar. You can see right through me.”
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Gerhart and Dane married in 2004. They separated in 2017, but the divorce filing was withdrawn in April. A few weeks later, the “Grey’s Anatomy” actor announced that he had been diagnosed with ALS.
According to the Mayo Clinic, ALS is a “nervous system disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord.” It can cause severe muscle loss, difficulty breathing, eating problems, and in some cases, dementia.
