Maria called The Ramsey Show of New York City for advice on a marital dispute involving a new truck.

She told co-hosts Jade Warshaw and George Kamel that she and her husband bring in a combined $170,000 a year. They’ve worked hard to become debt-free, fund their Roth IRAs every month, and set aside money for their children’s college funds in 529 savings plans (1).

Now Mary’s husband wants them to go back into debt so he can get a new truck. But Mary wants to wait so they can buy the truck debt-free in a year, saving along the way.

Warshaw praised the couple’s achievements in becoming debt-free.

“You’ve lost perspective on what you’ve accomplished and what it allows you to do, which is very different from the average American,” he added.

Warshaw and Kamel quickly zeroed in on the subject. It’s not about whether Mary and her husband can afford the new vehicle; it’s about your attitude towards buying.

“We all want a new car tomorrow,” Warshaw said. “But there’s this grown-up part of us that says that’s not the way the world works.”

That’s what Warshaw and Kamel advised, along with the importance of making mutually beneficial financial decisions in a relationship, to avoid marital strife.

Kamel noted that a family should not have more than half of the household income invested in vehicles.

He recommended that Mary and her husband sell their existing car and use the proceeds to buy a good used truck.

Mary was thinking the same thing, but still insists they buy a more expensive truck now, which means going back into debt. This highlights how they are not aligned on money matters.

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This is all too common. In 2024, an Ipsos survey revealed that 34% of partnered Americans see money as a source of conflict in their relationships, and 37% say their partner spends too much money on impulse purchases (2).

However, these disagreements over shared finances are often a sign of deeper conflicts in a relationship, including communication problems and a lack of shared values.

But having debt and struggling financially can add unnecessary stress to a relationship, especially if one partner doesn’t share the same financial outlook and goals.

While Warshaw and Kamel acknowledged the conditions that can cause big savers to want to become big spenders, they also warned about the risks of taking on debt after a period of financial well-being.

“It’s this fatigue that sets in and drives you crazy,” Warshaw said. “You’ve done so many things right, but you’re still not at what you think the finish line should be. You think I deserve this. I work hard…but this is such a dangerous place to be.”

“I’m not mad at your husband, but I do want to stop him from doing something I think he’ll really regret.”

Impulse spending is a problem in relationships because these big purchases can not only derail budgets, they can also divert money from your emergency fund and accidents or unexpected bills can happen at any time.

In most cases, the risk isn’t worth the reward, and impulsive consumers can learn the hard way when the consequences of their purchase come back to bite them.

With wealth creation as an important goal and shared value, Mary and her husband should focus on staying out of debt for any purchases that are wants, not needs.

Also, major purchases should be mutual decisions in a relationship. Certified financial planner Alina Narr offers the following tips for couples who need to get in touch with their financial priorities (3):

• Schedule regular money conversations. This should include immediate plans, such as a monthly budget, and long-term goals such as retirement, college funds, and other future decisions.

• Be clear about your goals and values. These money talks should uncover how you each see the role of money in your life and help you find the attitudes you have in common and where you differ.

• Expense vs. saving Narr says it’s common for one partner to be a spender and the other a saver. Neither approach is wrong, but couples in this situation need to establish ground rules so that both parties feel respected.

• ask for help A party like a financial advisor or a couples therapist who specializes in money matters can help couples who have reached an impasse in their negotiations and get you back to working as a team.

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The Ramsey Show (1); Ipsos (2); EP Wealth Advisors (3)

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