It’s no secret that money is one of the biggest causes of conflict for married couples.

About a third of divorcees said financial problems were the main source of conflict during their marriage and the main reason they eventually separated, according to a survey by Forbes Advisor.

As a financial educator and former NFCC Certified Credit Counselor, I have spoken with hundreds of couples about their financial challenges. In my experience, it is rare for one party to be solely responsible for all the money problems in a marriage. Instead, it’s often a lack of communication about financial responsibilities and expectations that leads a partner down the wrong path.

From hidden debts to mismatched spending habits, small money missteps can snowball into major relationship problems. The good news? Many of the most common financial mistakes that lead to divorce are preventable. Here are four of the biggest financial mistakes couples make and how to keep finances from coming between you and your partner.

Many financial rifts for couples come from avoiding the topic of money altogether. In fact, most married people say they never discussed basic financial topics like savings, debt, or splitting bills before they got married.

When it comes to money and marriage, here’s a closer look at the most common mistakes that divide couples.

Hiding debt or other financial information from your spouse, also known as compromise financial infidelity — is often a recipe for a failed marriage.

In a 2025 Debt.com survey37% of respondents said hiding debt equals breaking your vows. It may not be a coincidence that the same number of divorcees say they or their ex-spouse hid debt during the marriage.

Credit card debt it can be especially difficult to manage since credit card fees are so high. In recent years, the average rate has risen to nearly 21%.

So it’s no surprise that this particular type of debt has become an increasingly common cause of divorce. In Debt.com’s survey, 42 percent of divorcees said credit card debt played a role in their split, up from 34 percent in 2024 and 29 percent in 2023.

Of course, debt does not have to lead to divorce, but it can be an insurmountable obstacle when the couple does not seek a solution. The majority of couples who separated (65%) said they did not seek help for their debt problems.

In a survey of Western and Southern Financial Groupmarried couples were asked which financial topics they wished they had started talking about earlier. Their main choice was spending habits (32%).

In my work, I’ve seen couples develop deep resentments toward each other over spending differences. Things get especially contentious when one is a saver and the other is a free spender. According to divorcees, the biggest cause of financial strain during their marriage was disagreements over their biggest purchases, including things like furniture and cars.

in mine budgeting sessions with couples, one particular scenario plays out over and over again: one spouse manages the bills and household financial accounts, and the other doesn’t know the details.

This dynamic may seem natural for couples where one partner knows more about money management than the other. But it often leads to serious problems. For example, one spouse tends to resent the amount of responsibility they have, while the other feels that they are not trusted to make their own financial decisions.

Believe it or not, financial setbacks can bring couples together when handled the right way. Here are some tips for tackling money problems together, instead of letting them become the downfall of your marriage.

It’s best not to talk about money (or any other serious topic) when one or both of you are upset or angry. If emotions are running high, neither of you will focus on finding a solution. So instead of bowing out, agree to come back to the topic at a certain point later.

When discussing the topic, consider setting a timer at the beginning to help keep the conversation focused and short. During the conversation, I recommend curiously addressing each other’s values ​​and financial goals, rather than jumping right into complaints or discussions about specific numbers.

Read more: What is value-based budgeting and how does it work?

Don’t know when to talk about money problems? You can solve this problem by setting a recurring “money date” on your calendar. A money date should be a monthly (or weekly, if you’re facing a complex problem) event where you sit down together to discuss basic money management topics. This may include:

• Creating and reviewing your budget

• Preparing for upcoming expenses

• Establishment and monitoring of financial objectives

• Plan things that aren’t necessary like entertainment and travel

Your money date can simply be a meeting around the kitchen table. Alternatively, you can plan a special home-cooked meal or an outing, just to make it more exciting for both of you.

There is no right way to divide money management tasks and household bills. But there’s definitely a wrong way to go about it: avoiding the subject altogether.

If you’re not sure how to split the shared costs, I usually recommend doing it in a way that correlates with revenue. For example, if one spouse earns 70% of the household income, that spouse will cover 70% of the expenses. Of course, you can try this approach and then adjust it if it doesn’t work for you.

When it comes to paying bills and managing financial accounts, I usually recommend talking about which responsibilities you enjoy the most and writing down the tasks you each agree to do. It’s also okay to give one person all the responsibility if that’s what you both want. However, each spouse should know how to locate all shared financial assets in the event of an emergency.

Read more: Should unmarried couples have joint bank accounts?

If financial stress or disagreements are hurting your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

For couples struggling with debt, bad credit, or budgeting issues, an NFCC Certified Credit Counselor can intervene with expert advice and personalized advice. These advisers can also guide you through special options to improve your finances, including debt management plans (DMPs).

For help with retirement planning, investing and tax strategies, consider hiring a licenser financial advisorsuch as a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC).

Read more: How to merge finances with your spouse after marriage